super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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