I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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