Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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