"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
