The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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