just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
