What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
