Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
