i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
