Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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