It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dignity is for republicans.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's never too late to be topless.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
