Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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