I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
