Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
