wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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