Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
