White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
