come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
