it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize