man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.