he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...