My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
