I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.