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PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
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