Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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(253): View more from Washington

I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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(952): View more from Minnesota

history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.

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(716): View more from New York

I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(940): View more from Texas

Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team

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(315): View more from New York

i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"

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