On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.