Texts From Last Night

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  (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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  (789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days. http://tfl.nu/hp74
  Replies (26) Good night (5813) Bad night (935)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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  (616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs
  Replies (22) Good night (1207) Bad night (4464)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be

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  (925): I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be http://tfl.nu/7ydp
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (2222)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (28419) Bad night (2755)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  did you fuck him yet?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?

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  (902): did you fuck him yet? (1-902): hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun? http://tfl.nu/r4bc
  Replies (22) Good night (6538) Bad night (754)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

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  (928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e
  Replies (56) Good night (30720) Bad night (1654)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (3529)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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  (519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21
  Replies (13) Good night (2533) Bad night (799)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.

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  (256): The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire. http://tfl.nu/a418
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (2318)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up

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  (301): Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up http://tfl.nu/i9yn
  Replies (17) Good night (1755) Bad night (623)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (538)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.

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  (615): I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it. http://tfl.nu/knuw
  Replies (7) Good night (1354) Bad night (748)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (437)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't turn off my feet"

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  (419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (268)
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  (562): View more from California

  I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell

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  (562): I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell http://tfl.nu/v6x7
  Replies (0) Good night (185) Bad night (361)

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