I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.