Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
