As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
