...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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