Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
