so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
