Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
