you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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