Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
