My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
