well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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