and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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