It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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