Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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