porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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