There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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