Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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