Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
