I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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