Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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