Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
