It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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