My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
