Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
