He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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