dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
