Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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