You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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