I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
