belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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