As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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