She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
