I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize