after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize