last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
jump out the window naked night went bad
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