Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize