remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize