TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
