I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
