If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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