sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
