this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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